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Hebrews 12:1-3 says,"...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
God is doing a great thing in my family's lives, in peoples lives around me, and in my very own as well. I had some convos with some special people that are dear in my life; also, this week in men's group called Moving On at VFCC, where men of God get together to talk about deep concerns and current struggles that we may still be facing in order to deal with them, and surrender it to God. I have had the honor of speaking to many people about our pasts, our failures, struggles, hurts (pains), abuses, and the calling God may have placed in our hearts. The convos, even more, reminds me of what I have learned about God's love and purpose in my very own life.
I am reminded of how much I am truly blessed and privileged to find grace (favor) in God's eyes (as do we all; Praise be to our Lord Jesus!!). I did not choose or sought after God, yet, even in my sinful desires, sinful lifestyle, shame, and guilt the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob through Jesus our Lord sought me out, finding favor for a reason I still have not fully understood to this day.
Maybe you would share this sentiment: Why me? "Who am I, that you would send me?"
I would venture to even question in this way as well: Why has God revealed himself to me in such ways?
When I was thirteen...I remember His whisper as if He is still whispering in my ear today... "Sientes mi calor?"... He whispered... Which means, Do you feel my warmth or embrace? I was not dreaming, it was not a vision of some sort, but Jesus physically and truly stood at my bedside. Yes Lord here am I, I would dare to reply even today. I am still learning myself to walk in forgiveness, compassion, and even more in my calling; not only for myself, but for who God is; and to whom He represents in my most inner being.
I would still question: How can God use a person like me, use me the in the ways He has, or how can I still hear Him so clearly at times?
I remember the times when God has sent me to speak into people's lives without me really knowing who they are, in order that He may encourage and edify where they are at. Moreover, I do not even like speaking in front of many people, and my speech is far from perfect. I have struggles too, that make me feel even more inadequate to what God has been doing, and what He can do in my life. I am also afraid, I was always afraid of failing God, but I confess I have failed Him many times before already.
Fear grips me to think of the responsibilities, and obstacles I must face in the calling God has place in my heart. In all honesty I would have never chosen it for myself; but, I am reminded daily of how God would call and could use any person such as myself, a sinner, with all my struggles and weaknesses. Yet, He finds pleasure of having full control of my every being, desiring total surrender and devotion. Yes, He desires for me...the good, the bad, and the ugly, as I too must learn to surrender all, full devotion, and allow Him total control. What is the cost? My all, my most inner being, all my life...yes, every part.
We did not choose God.
I did not choose God, God sought me out, not I that sought Him out. I do not even know why...other than that of His unconditional love for us all. I know that not many people may have experienced God the way He has made known to me. Know that I dare not boast, I am merely a witness, a testimony, and a messenger of God's love, mercy, and grace. Yes, I have seen God, heard his voice, and experienced His presence that resounds and vibrates profoundly within my soul. He ever so profoundly captivates me the more I seek Him; and the more I experience His presence, the more I desire to be with Him; as when He stood at my bedside that morning in Puerto Rico when I was yet a young boy. I do not think highly of myself, I have struggled much, but I have learned that it is not about me. Through experiencing God, and His presence I find great strength and courage to continue the pursuit of God's calling in my life; regardless of my many failures in the past.
My most greatest victories, where I have found most strength is behind closed doors where I meet with God face to face. In my secret place with my Lord, there, I am found with a drive and a passion that I have no control over. Even when I wanted to quit, hiding from God, and the desire to give up was ever so eminent; but an overwhelming feeling, a drive of overcoming, of fighting, and pressing forward fills my heart, it fills my inner most being... I must move forward, no turning back, even if no one may follow...
I pray that you may experience God even more than I could ever experience Him. May you experience that drive that can only come from an experience with Our Lord and Savior; so that you may draw closer to Him, which is far more important than anything else in this world; and so that you may be empowered also to go wherever He sends you. Amen
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
MY CONFESSION: Where the two roads meet.
"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" "The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." (1Corinthians 15: 55-57)
While I was a child, I remember I loved imitating my pastors that I had growing up. My father was in the military so we traveled much, so this granted me the opportunity to have pastors that poured much wisdom into my life. We have had a few pastors, but they all had something that I admired. I remember I would drive my mother crazy when I wanted to wear a suit and tie all the time because that was how my pastors dressed. Also, my father had to buy me a guitar because one of the pastors played guitar, but of course I too wanted to play guitar; this was when we lived in South Carolina. Imitating and following my pastors everywhere was my goal. In Puerto Rico I was called my pastors "rabito" (little tail), he could not hide from me. I would even try to sit close to him wherever he sat; I was a little pastor stalker, that's what I was.
When we moved to Puerto Rico, because of my parent’s separation, my pastor in Puerto Rico, Rev. Emilio Aviles, is the man that I admired most. Unlike most kids that grow up in the church, I truly loved going to Church as much as I loved following my pastor around; I wanted to be just like Pastor Aviles. He was the one that God truly used to begin the placement of passion in my heart for ministry and for people. At the age of nine, he had introduced me to preaching; along with my grandmother, who is a retired missionary, we would minister together at other churches, minister at the hospital or go to people's homes to pray for the sick. My grandmother also poured much wisdom in my life. Pastor Aviles had never rejected me no matter how annoying I was following him around. In fact, he always sought me out, and gave me much counsel and always came over to where I lived to check up on me; he truly cared for me.
I am fortunate to say that I have seen God move, as well as experienced His presence in a powerful way from a very young age. Surely I was different from all the other kids at school and among the few friends I had; I was known as the preacher kid or the evangelical, and was made fun of, bullied and such... more so because I was always talking about Jesus... so after school I would head to Pastor Aviles' home which was not far at all. There at his home I listened attentively to him speak of God's word, his experiences, and listen to the passion that this man had for God and the lost. Somewhere between his and my grandmother’s sermons, stories (experiences), and ministering with my grandmother...I fell madly in love with God and truly knew that I was called to ministry.
This past summer I visited Pastor Aviles after ten years that I had not seen him, he is much older, retired, and now has Alzheimer; yet, I was amazed that all he was able to speak about was the wonders of God, quoting scripture from memory. It was just like when I was a child again, and as I heard every word that came from his mouth my eyes watered and glittered with admiration; I was truly in a presence of a mighty man of God; a man I called for many years my spiritual father. There in his living room Pastor Aviles reminded me of my calling, and the reasons I had vowed my life to such a calling; I learned that it is truly not about me, it is beyond and much greater than I.
I must confess:
Sin has a way to suffocate God's calling to anyone entangled by it. Talking about sin and the mistakes I have made in my life are probably the things I very much avoid in conversation. I must confess though that the weaknesses and struggles I have borne had taken me down roads I would venture to say have caused me to fall more than I could ever admit; I imagine who would admit their sins easily. Maybe it was because of my parents separation, the rejections, or having been sexually molested that had lead me to live a secret life of promiscuity, but was certainly not the lifestyle I wanted for myself; I suppose it was my way of coping. When no longer I could keep my secrets bottled up, my struggles and pain, even when church was where I too felt rejected I turned to the homosexual lifestyle for answers or for some sort of acceptance, even freedom. Even in that lifestyle my spirit ached within me, but still I pushed God away for a time. I must confess though that because of my sins I began to believe that I could never live up to the calling God had placed in my heart; therefore, I believed that my struggles were my inevitability; where I could not or would ever change to be truly free.
I was wrong.
The Bible has taught me that sin has no power over those in Christ; and it has taken me a long time to realize this truth. I remember what Pastor Aviles had said to me once that when you are called by God the enemy will do everything in his power to prevent you to achieve God's calling in your life, even use your own desires and weaknesses against you; yet, remember this, there is no devil or amount of sin that can make God change his mind about the call that He has placed upon you.
Is not that the reason Christ died for us, so that through him we too can overcome sin and death? Overcoming sin is not the simplest thing to do. I have realized that in all my struggles, weaknesses, and pain…overcoming is worth fighting for. Overcoming goes hand in hand with surrender, sacrifice, obedience, and even suffering for Christ’s name and cause. To surrender is to deny yourself fully; even those things that matter most to you, even your so called freedom and will. Is this not what Jesus was teaching in Luke 14: 25-27, Matthew 16: 24-26, and Mark 8: 31-38?
Overcoming sin is to have a resolute attitude against sin, as well as a complete devotion to the Lord of Hosts; by your own oath of accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. In order to do whatever it takes to overcome sin we must understand that the battle between sin comes from within our own hearts, also from the deceptive lies that comes from the evil one; therefore, much disciplining is needed. You must know that to fight is to conquer when God is on your side, there is no turning back.
I struggle not because I wanted to, but now I have come to understand it is because I must; there is no turning back for me. I must conquer my sin, and I shall overcome; I am not alone, the victory is mine!!
This is my greatest desire, to see people experience God to the full potential of His word; “…anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these…” (John 14:12). It is not about me it is about Jesus; so that the people of God united together overcome and conquer for the sake of the Kingdom of God. Will you join me in this journey? Together we can do great things for the Kingdom. Surely, I must say that it will take a true experience, a true encounter with the Lord and His Spirit to seal this destiny; a fate of suffering for the sake of the Kingdom. In order to say along with my own prayer, my soul aches for the lost, and for those deceived by the lies of the enemy! If you shall not come with me, then I must go without…there is no turning back for me.
This is my prayer: I shall not surrender though I may lose some ground, even if I must fail a few more times...I must get this right. Hold steady my sword, which is your Word, in my hands and in my heart forever burn and carve it, dear Savior; You are my fortress and source of strength. The laborers are still too few Lord, help us overcome our sins and our fears; for your heart aches for the lost, bound and the broken. Let your people join together for the sake of your Kingdom, we do this not on our own; to overcome, conquer, and rescue those in the hands of the enemy. Give us ears to hear you, and readied hearts, so when you call we are ready to say…Here I am Lord, send me!! AMEN.
“Whom shall I send if not you?”
While I was a child, I remember I loved imitating my pastors that I had growing up. My father was in the military so we traveled much, so this granted me the opportunity to have pastors that poured much wisdom into my life. We have had a few pastors, but they all had something that I admired. I remember I would drive my mother crazy when I wanted to wear a suit and tie all the time because that was how my pastors dressed. Also, my father had to buy me a guitar because one of the pastors played guitar, but of course I too wanted to play guitar; this was when we lived in South Carolina. Imitating and following my pastors everywhere was my goal. In Puerto Rico I was called my pastors "rabito" (little tail), he could not hide from me. I would even try to sit close to him wherever he sat; I was a little pastor stalker, that's what I was.
When we moved to Puerto Rico, because of my parent’s separation, my pastor in Puerto Rico, Rev. Emilio Aviles, is the man that I admired most. Unlike most kids that grow up in the church, I truly loved going to Church as much as I loved following my pastor around; I wanted to be just like Pastor Aviles. He was the one that God truly used to begin the placement of passion in my heart for ministry and for people. At the age of nine, he had introduced me to preaching; along with my grandmother, who is a retired missionary, we would minister together at other churches, minister at the hospital or go to people's homes to pray for the sick. My grandmother also poured much wisdom in my life. Pastor Aviles had never rejected me no matter how annoying I was following him around. In fact, he always sought me out, and gave me much counsel and always came over to where I lived to check up on me; he truly cared for me.
I am fortunate to say that I have seen God move, as well as experienced His presence in a powerful way from a very young age. Surely I was different from all the other kids at school and among the few friends I had; I was known as the preacher kid or the evangelical, and was made fun of, bullied and such... more so because I was always talking about Jesus... so after school I would head to Pastor Aviles' home which was not far at all. There at his home I listened attentively to him speak of God's word, his experiences, and listen to the passion that this man had for God and the lost. Somewhere between his and my grandmother’s sermons, stories (experiences), and ministering with my grandmother...I fell madly in love with God and truly knew that I was called to ministry.
This past summer I visited Pastor Aviles after ten years that I had not seen him, he is much older, retired, and now has Alzheimer; yet, I was amazed that all he was able to speak about was the wonders of God, quoting scripture from memory. It was just like when I was a child again, and as I heard every word that came from his mouth my eyes watered and glittered with admiration; I was truly in a presence of a mighty man of God; a man I called for many years my spiritual father. There in his living room Pastor Aviles reminded me of my calling, and the reasons I had vowed my life to such a calling; I learned that it is truly not about me, it is beyond and much greater than I.
I must confess:
Sin has a way to suffocate God's calling to anyone entangled by it. Talking about sin and the mistakes I have made in my life are probably the things I very much avoid in conversation. I must confess though that the weaknesses and struggles I have borne had taken me down roads I would venture to say have caused me to fall more than I could ever admit; I imagine who would admit their sins easily. Maybe it was because of my parents separation, the rejections, or having been sexually molested that had lead me to live a secret life of promiscuity, but was certainly not the lifestyle I wanted for myself; I suppose it was my way of coping. When no longer I could keep my secrets bottled up, my struggles and pain, even when church was where I too felt rejected I turned to the homosexual lifestyle for answers or for some sort of acceptance, even freedom. Even in that lifestyle my spirit ached within me, but still I pushed God away for a time. I must confess though that because of my sins I began to believe that I could never live up to the calling God had placed in my heart; therefore, I believed that my struggles were my inevitability; where I could not or would ever change to be truly free.
I was wrong.
The Bible has taught me that sin has no power over those in Christ; and it has taken me a long time to realize this truth. I remember what Pastor Aviles had said to me once that when you are called by God the enemy will do everything in his power to prevent you to achieve God's calling in your life, even use your own desires and weaknesses against you; yet, remember this, there is no devil or amount of sin that can make God change his mind about the call that He has placed upon you.
Is not that the reason Christ died for us, so that through him we too can overcome sin and death? Overcoming sin is not the simplest thing to do. I have realized that in all my struggles, weaknesses, and pain…overcoming is worth fighting for. Overcoming goes hand in hand with surrender, sacrifice, obedience, and even suffering for Christ’s name and cause. To surrender is to deny yourself fully; even those things that matter most to you, even your so called freedom and will. Is this not what Jesus was teaching in Luke 14: 25-27, Matthew 16: 24-26, and Mark 8: 31-38?
Overcoming sin is to have a resolute attitude against sin, as well as a complete devotion to the Lord of Hosts; by your own oath of accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. In order to do whatever it takes to overcome sin we must understand that the battle between sin comes from within our own hearts, also from the deceptive lies that comes from the evil one; therefore, much disciplining is needed. You must know that to fight is to conquer when God is on your side, there is no turning back.
I struggle not because I wanted to, but now I have come to understand it is because I must; there is no turning back for me. I must conquer my sin, and I shall overcome; I am not alone, the victory is mine!!
This is my greatest desire, to see people experience God to the full potential of His word; “…anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these…” (John 14:12). It is not about me it is about Jesus; so that the people of God united together overcome and conquer for the sake of the Kingdom of God. Will you join me in this journey? Together we can do great things for the Kingdom. Surely, I must say that it will take a true experience, a true encounter with the Lord and His Spirit to seal this destiny; a fate of suffering for the sake of the Kingdom. In order to say along with my own prayer, my soul aches for the lost, and for those deceived by the lies of the enemy! If you shall not come with me, then I must go without…there is no turning back for me.
This is my prayer: I shall not surrender though I may lose some ground, even if I must fail a few more times...I must get this right. Hold steady my sword, which is your Word, in my hands and in my heart forever burn and carve it, dear Savior; You are my fortress and source of strength. The laborers are still too few Lord, help us overcome our sins and our fears; for your heart aches for the lost, bound and the broken. Let your people join together for the sake of your Kingdom, we do this not on our own; to overcome, conquer, and rescue those in the hands of the enemy. Give us ears to hear you, and readied hearts, so when you call we are ready to say…Here I am Lord, send me!! AMEN.
“Whom shall I send if not you?”
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Let the Journey Begin
My blog theme "What Really Matters?" has influenced me to rethink, observe, and analyze the importance of living a healing life. The reasons I express a healing life, and not a healed life, is that healing is an ever continuing process; it never stops or ends. I am not talking about physical healing, I'm pretty sure once your healed of a sickness, or of a disease, it becomes past-tense; like my mother was healed of cancer. But what I am trying to convey is the living of a life of healing. In other words experiencing God's healing throughout life, and in every area of our lives.
As we begin this journey called life our parents probably failed to inform us, if you haven't figured it out, life is difficult; life is full of obstacles, pain, suffering, work, and "inconviences" if I may. So, what is life all about then?
I remember my mother telling me that you have to work hard for what you want; the "money doesn't grow on trees" speech. Which is kind of eye rolling for any young teen; and with much sarcasm would have replied "no duh," but the visualization of a chankla (a sandal) being thrown at my head would make me think twice of trying to get smart with my Latina mother. Yet, I would venture to question if what I work for really is what would make life worth wild, a life worth living for. If you didn't know, life has its ups and it has its downs, but sometimes we just miss the point of what life is truly all about.
We ponder, analyze, and practically taste our struggles; we submerge ourselves with the feelings of hurt, pain, and loneliness...Why? What for? Why the overwhelming of such emotions? Some feelings are possibly due to people having hurt us in some way in our past. Maybe such emotions are because of the absence of attention, the feeling of rejection, or possibly because of some type of failure... You try and try, but you always seem to mess it up, it’s never good enough, and you can never seem to achieve a goal or an expectation placed on yourself, or placed by others. I wonder if Jesus sacrifices all that He was, and is, just so our sins can be forgiven. I am beginning to believe that the forgiveness of our sins is but a small part what Christ was trying to convey; though extremely important in the salvation of our souls. I must say though that of forgiving of those whom have caused us pain is extremely necessary for healing to begin within our hearts; even harder yet, maybe, forgiving yourself for the failures and wrong choices you, yourself, have made.
What if I said life is about family? It wouldn't be true, or even fair to say life is about family when you grow up in a broken home, or in an abused home for that matter. Family has a huge impact, another way to say influence, of how your worldview of life would be; even if you grew up in a Christian home. Yet, even Christian homes can be broken, full of abuse, rejection, and absence of attention, etc... One of the famous and well known questions out in the world is "so, what is the meaning of life?" Most Christians would quickly quote John 11:25-26 where in the Bible Jesus said, "...I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die..."
So, Christ is the life? What does that even mean? Christ died for us and for our sins so that we may live.
That we may live in what way? I'm not quite sure if Jesus only intended to die so that we may live a certain way, but rather to live in Him, and through Him.
Without God in our lives it is as life without breath. A life of healing is a life that can freely live as God intended. Healing is freedom. God created us to be free, not bound; free to be who we are in Him; free from pain, suffering, and sin; though that may not mean things will be easy or there will no longer be obstacles. Yet, the truest healing we may ever experience is the realization of who God truly is; allowing the reconnecting to the source of life to take place. That is what Christ was trying to convey when He said He was the resurrection and the life, He meant that He is the source of life. So the question is not what should life be about? Rather, let the questions begin with: Who is the source of life? Who can heal my life? Who can define my life and make it significant? Then your journey of healing and wholeness has only just begun...
As we begin this journey called life our parents probably failed to inform us, if you haven't figured it out, life is difficult; life is full of obstacles, pain, suffering, work, and "inconviences" if I may. So, what is life all about then?
I remember my mother telling me that you have to work hard for what you want; the "money doesn't grow on trees" speech. Which is kind of eye rolling for any young teen; and with much sarcasm would have replied "no duh," but the visualization of a chankla (a sandal) being thrown at my head would make me think twice of trying to get smart with my Latina mother. Yet, I would venture to question if what I work for really is what would make life worth wild, a life worth living for. If you didn't know, life has its ups and it has its downs, but sometimes we just miss the point of what life is truly all about.
We ponder, analyze, and practically taste our struggles; we submerge ourselves with the feelings of hurt, pain, and loneliness...Why? What for? Why the overwhelming of such emotions? Some feelings are possibly due to people having hurt us in some way in our past. Maybe such emotions are because of the absence of attention, the feeling of rejection, or possibly because of some type of failure... You try and try, but you always seem to mess it up, it’s never good enough, and you can never seem to achieve a goal or an expectation placed on yourself, or placed by others. I wonder if Jesus sacrifices all that He was, and is, just so our sins can be forgiven. I am beginning to believe that the forgiveness of our sins is but a small part what Christ was trying to convey; though extremely important in the salvation of our souls. I must say though that of forgiving of those whom have caused us pain is extremely necessary for healing to begin within our hearts; even harder yet, maybe, forgiving yourself for the failures and wrong choices you, yourself, have made.
What if I said life is about family? It wouldn't be true, or even fair to say life is about family when you grow up in a broken home, or in an abused home for that matter. Family has a huge impact, another way to say influence, of how your worldview of life would be; even if you grew up in a Christian home. Yet, even Christian homes can be broken, full of abuse, rejection, and absence of attention, etc... One of the famous and well known questions out in the world is "so, what is the meaning of life?" Most Christians would quickly quote John 11:25-26 where in the Bible Jesus said, "...I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die..."
So, Christ is the life? What does that even mean? Christ died for us and for our sins so that we may live.
That we may live in what way? I'm not quite sure if Jesus only intended to die so that we may live a certain way, but rather to live in Him, and through Him.
Without God in our lives it is as life without breath. A life of healing is a life that can freely live as God intended. Healing is freedom. God created us to be free, not bound; free to be who we are in Him; free from pain, suffering, and sin; though that may not mean things will be easy or there will no longer be obstacles. Yet, the truest healing we may ever experience is the realization of who God truly is; allowing the reconnecting to the source of life to take place. That is what Christ was trying to convey when He said He was the resurrection and the life, He meant that He is the source of life. So the question is not what should life be about? Rather, let the questions begin with: Who is the source of life? Who can heal my life? Who can define my life and make it significant? Then your journey of healing and wholeness has only just begun...
Monday, February 1, 2010
Jesus Washing His Disciples Feet
John 13:12-17
"12When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."
Washing someones feet can be a little awkward or even gross as some would say, yet, what was Jesus really trying to teach as He washed his disciples feet? There is something beautiful and wonderful in the position of humbling yourself to wash someones feet. This past weekend my family, and a few friends from college, got together at my mother's house for prayer as well as to do some feet washing. What an awesome experience it was to see my family take this position and encourage each other... healing surely took place!
As I watched each of my family members kneel and began to wash person by person's feet the tears that were shared is a memory that would never leave my heart. Words were exchanged that brought forgiveness to once broken and distant relationships. One of my uncles asked my mother for forgiveness for hurting her in the past. He shared how he remembered of when they were children, how close they once were, and how he missed those days from long ago.
If I may share what truly touched my heart during this time was when the very uncle I felt furthest from said something to me that truly melted my heart. As I washed his feet I shared how he, being the oldest of the men in the family, felt he was being overlooked, and the hurt he felt because he was the least of the children that was given attention. I reminded him of how in the Bible God would choose the youngest to an anointed calling; the story of David and Joseph was whom I referred to. How the older brothers of David, and Joseph were jealous of their young brother because they were young and were given more attention. How about the story of the prodigal son, I shared, who was given a feast after disowning his father and blowing away his inheritance, yet, the oldest son was there by his fathers side all this time. I reminded my uncle that God had never overlooked him, He had never forgotten him at all. My uncles stare at me was so penetrating, but the confidence I felt in the words that was coming out of my mouth, I knew was of the Lord. In continuing, I shared that to fulfill Gods calling we must submit to His timing, and will as well; that it was not by our strength or even by our own timing. When the time for this very uncle came to wash my feet he said of how he knew that God was using me to bring the family together. As he had shared before with my mother that he wanted to be the one to bring the family together, but he continued by calling me the David of the family, the angel that God was using to bless this family by leading them into the direction and will of Lord. My heart sank, I couldn't hold back the tears that poured out from my eyes...
I may not share all of what had happened on that day, but I must say this: I am so proud of my family. I am more than blessed to have a family that would humble themselves to come together by a last minute phone call, listen to what God had put in my heart, and share with each other words that would bring healing, forgiveness, and love through the washing of feet. I am more than humbled, honored even, to be called the David or the angel of this family. Know this that I would fight til the death for them. The devil can not have them! He would have to come through me to get to them. Surely I would not give up so easily. Who would stand in the gap for my family? Who would intercede for them? If no one else would stand in the gap for my family then I will, Lord!
So...What really matters? Is it brokenness? How about forgiveness? Surely it must be the ability to humble ones self to love another enough to wash each others feet? Healing is definitely more than just washing feet; so what does healing look like? Jesus commanded us to serve rather than to lead...why? Yet, why is it we are so quick to lead rather than serve? Didn't Jesus serve His disciples? Or did He lead His disciples? How did He lead and how did He serve?
How did Jesus show us the full extent of His love? Death on the cross. John 3:17 says, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." Can what really matters change the way we ought to see the world? Through what lens should we see peoples faults and sins? Jesus cried out,"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" as He was being crucified (Luke 23:34). I hope as we engage the issues of this ever changing world may we never forget the price Christ paid for all of us, not just a selected few. That even though we are in a fallen world remember Christ is ever risen!
I also appreciate my friends that came along with me; thank you for being sensitive to the Spirit of God and allowing Him to use you in the time with my family.
John 13:12-17
"12When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."
Washing someones feet can be a little awkward or even gross as some would say, yet, what was Jesus really trying to teach as He washed his disciples feet? There is something beautiful and wonderful in the position of humbling yourself to wash someones feet. This past weekend my family, and a few friends from college, got together at my mother's house for prayer as well as to do some feet washing. What an awesome experience it was to see my family take this position and encourage each other... healing surely took place!
As I watched each of my family members kneel and began to wash person by person's feet the tears that were shared is a memory that would never leave my heart. Words were exchanged that brought forgiveness to once broken and distant relationships. One of my uncles asked my mother for forgiveness for hurting her in the past. He shared how he remembered of when they were children, how close they once were, and how he missed those days from long ago.
If I may share what truly touched my heart during this time was when the very uncle I felt furthest from said something to me that truly melted my heart. As I washed his feet I shared how he, being the oldest of the men in the family, felt he was being overlooked, and the hurt he felt because he was the least of the children that was given attention. I reminded him of how in the Bible God would choose the youngest to an anointed calling; the story of David and Joseph was whom I referred to. How the older brothers of David, and Joseph were jealous of their young brother because they were young and were given more attention. How about the story of the prodigal son, I shared, who was given a feast after disowning his father and blowing away his inheritance, yet, the oldest son was there by his fathers side all this time. I reminded my uncle that God had never overlooked him, He had never forgotten him at all. My uncles stare at me was so penetrating, but the confidence I felt in the words that was coming out of my mouth, I knew was of the Lord. In continuing, I shared that to fulfill Gods calling we must submit to His timing, and will as well; that it was not by our strength or even by our own timing. When the time for this very uncle came to wash my feet he said of how he knew that God was using me to bring the family together. As he had shared before with my mother that he wanted to be the one to bring the family together, but he continued by calling me the David of the family, the angel that God was using to bless this family by leading them into the direction and will of Lord. My heart sank, I couldn't hold back the tears that poured out from my eyes...
I may not share all of what had happened on that day, but I must say this: I am so proud of my family. I am more than blessed to have a family that would humble themselves to come together by a last minute phone call, listen to what God had put in my heart, and share with each other words that would bring healing, forgiveness, and love through the washing of feet. I am more than humbled, honored even, to be called the David or the angel of this family. Know this that I would fight til the death for them. The devil can not have them! He would have to come through me to get to them. Surely I would not give up so easily. Who would stand in the gap for my family? Who would intercede for them? If no one else would stand in the gap for my family then I will, Lord!
So...What really matters? Is it brokenness? How about forgiveness? Surely it must be the ability to humble ones self to love another enough to wash each others feet? Healing is definitely more than just washing feet; so what does healing look like? Jesus commanded us to serve rather than to lead...why? Yet, why is it we are so quick to lead rather than serve? Didn't Jesus serve His disciples? Or did He lead His disciples? How did He lead and how did He serve?
How did Jesus show us the full extent of His love? Death on the cross. John 3:17 says, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." Can what really matters change the way we ought to see the world? Through what lens should we see peoples faults and sins? Jesus cried out,"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" as He was being crucified (Luke 23:34). I hope as we engage the issues of this ever changing world may we never forget the price Christ paid for all of us, not just a selected few. That even though we are in a fallen world remember Christ is ever risen!
I also appreciate my friends that came along with me; thank you for being sensitive to the Spirit of God and allowing Him to use you in the time with my family.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
What really matters in a persons life is it the people around them that would take notice of what's important to them? What is important? Is it Love, understanding, and patience? Or is it the opinions or corrections? What about the misunderstandings of what people may say about your life?
What is Love? What is understanding? What is patience? I have always believed in my heart that God will do what He said He will do, but sometimes we jump to conclusions way too soon in the ministries God has called us for. To rush Gods calling or even to simply ignore the necessities and the signs because we are all to proud to realize them to deal with them in appropriateness. There must be time for healing, time to deal with issues that because of shame we dare not. There must be time to see what God sees; God sees what's in the heart, the most deepest part where people can not see or even begin to understand. Yet, it is God who sees and understands what is in our hearts
To tell you the truth I do not have the slightest idea what I am trying to convey. I thought I would just share a bit of what's in my heart, even if I do not fully understand it.
So... what really matters? Is it healing? Is it Time? Pastor CJ once said, "How do you spell 'love'? T-I-M-E." What "time" should it be? There should always be "time" for healing, love, understanding, and patience. There is always "time." When? When is there "time?" NOW is the "time." I have heard people say that we should take advantage of the our time; but I rather say, let us be wise with our time; at least that's what God has taught me throughout my life.
Here is a subject that is close to my heart and the reason for writing my reflection. This story broke my heart. The link below is about a Pastor who was a Pastor of a mega church; and how his wife dealt with what had happen in their lives. The link is an excerpt of her book, and the second is the article that came out in the news. I thought I would share so that to possibly pray for all those unsaid needs and struggles that are in the church and in the world. We talk about placing boundaries of the opposite sex and heterosexual relationships so much, that we forget that times are changing and not everyone struggles in the same way. Sexuality is being redefined and the heterosexual world that was once dominant is possibly and slowly becoming a minority (meaning, not the norm).
When will we realize what really matters and have the courage to engage these sensitive subjects and issues in the home and in the Church? Yet, all I can think of is the word "time." I feel that time will come. We should not fear the changes or dangers of our times at all; God's grace and mercy will shine all the more for those who Love and chose to follow Him.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39.
Excerpt:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35095840/ns/today-today_books/?ns=today-today_books
The Story:
https://webmail.vfcc.edu/owa/redir.aspx?C=4d04f441cf14413397a6284674534b40&URL=http%3a%2f%2ftoday.msnbc.msn.com%2fid%2f35097496%2fns%2ftoday-today_people%2f
What is Love? What is understanding? What is patience? I have always believed in my heart that God will do what He said He will do, but sometimes we jump to conclusions way too soon in the ministries God has called us for. To rush Gods calling or even to simply ignore the necessities and the signs because we are all to proud to realize them to deal with them in appropriateness. There must be time for healing, time to deal with issues that because of shame we dare not. There must be time to see what God sees; God sees what's in the heart, the most deepest part where people can not see or even begin to understand. Yet, it is God who sees and understands what is in our hearts
To tell you the truth I do not have the slightest idea what I am trying to convey. I thought I would just share a bit of what's in my heart, even if I do not fully understand it.
So... what really matters? Is it healing? Is it Time? Pastor CJ once said, "How do you spell 'love'? T-I-M-E." What "time" should it be? There should always be "time" for healing, love, understanding, and patience. There is always "time." When? When is there "time?" NOW is the "time." I have heard people say that we should take advantage of the our time; but I rather say, let us be wise with our time; at least that's what God has taught me throughout my life.
Here is a subject that is close to my heart and the reason for writing my reflection. This story broke my heart. The link below is about a Pastor who was a Pastor of a mega church; and how his wife dealt with what had happen in their lives. The link is an excerpt of her book, and the second is the article that came out in the news. I thought I would share so that to possibly pray for all those unsaid needs and struggles that are in the church and in the world. We talk about placing boundaries of the opposite sex and heterosexual relationships so much, that we forget that times are changing and not everyone struggles in the same way. Sexuality is being redefined and the heterosexual world that was once dominant is possibly and slowly becoming a minority (meaning, not the norm).
When will we realize what really matters and have the courage to engage these sensitive subjects and issues in the home and in the Church? Yet, all I can think of is the word "time." I feel that time will come. We should not fear the changes or dangers of our times at all; God's grace and mercy will shine all the more for those who Love and chose to follow Him.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39.
Excerpt:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35095840/ns/today-today_books/?ns=today-today_books
The Story:
https://webmail.vfcc.edu/owa/redir.aspx?C=4d04f441cf14413397a6284674534b40&URL=http%3a%2f%2ftoday.msnbc.msn.com%2fid%2f35097496%2fns%2ftoday-today_people%2f
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